[139] My Journey From Various Faiths To Pure Land Buddhism
(Only to share personal true experiences, the following is not to show any disrespect.)
My family background is Christian, with a grandmother an Anglican and grandfather a Methodist. I was baptised into the Anglican faith, led by my strong grandmother, who only spoke dialects, English and a little Malay. Although my family practised much charity, it felt extreme, at the expense of family well-being. However, I did learn to pay kindness forward.
Living with three generations, half of my mother’s side were Catholics, with the other half inclined to Theravada and Tibetan Buddhism, though without enough understanding. Thus, they seemed to have many ‘superstitious’ practices, that I did not understand the rationale of either.
I attended Sunday school from three to four years old, but started questioning in primary school, on why I had to follow a Christian faith when I was surrounded by neighbours, family members and friends of various faiths, with some having ancestor worship, beliefs in Taoism, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Catholicism etc. By 18, in an overseas college, I quietly stopped attending church as I was confused and full of questions, questioning my purpose in the here and now.
As an adult, I questioned the hypocrisy of some embracing a faith when their actions do not match that preached, while disparaging other faiths with prejudice. There was projected ‘superiority’ that seemed to try to put fear into me, claiming I will not be saved as a non-believer, or reunited with my family after. I was weary of this yearly spiel on the special ‘festive’ days, with threats of fire and brimstone in school and places of worship. My mother believe(d) that we will not be reunited after death when she knew that I was embracing Buddhism, but has slowly accepted this, perhaps due to dementia too.
I explored other faiths like Catholicism too. Not wanting them to simply go through the same path ‘forced’ upon me, I did not have my girls baptised. I thought they should be allowed to choose their own faiths as adults. I also explored Tibetan Buddhism but found it too complicated and ‘ritualistic’. Then, I tried to understand Theravada Buddhism. I went to a meditation retreat at Pulau Ubin… but meditation was hard for me. I also dabbled in understanding Hinduism, which is easier if you are born into a Hindu family.
When my aunt took me to Waterloo Street’s Kwan Im Thong Hood Cho Temple during the early 2000s, I found my affinity with Guānyīn Bodhisattva (观音菩萨) and asked her to show me the way forward. I found the Awareness Place bookshop at Bras Basah Complex along the way, with the vast literature offered then. Then, I chanced upon TheDailyEnlightenment (Eureka!!) and subscribed to its e-newsletter. That is how I found and attended my first Buddhist course in 2015 — your ‘Understanding Āmítuófó Via The Amitābha Sūtra’ course. With much trepidation, I attended, not knowing what it will be like.
I have a tolerant husband regarding religion. He will enter all places of worship like churches, mosques and temples. He calls himself a nominal Buddhist but has many questions. He believes current actions matter, but does not believe in afterlife consequences (yet). He said he would like to attend lessons with me but let work and other commitments get in the way. With him and my girls however, they willingly follow me to offer thanks on Vesak Day at temples, and when I offered alms to the Sangha.
When I was constantly searching, I was not so good in my temperament, allowing all that happened in past decades to colour my thoughts and behaviour. I believe all my ailments stemmed from this. But your Pure Land teachings, Pureland Practice Fellowship (PPF) sessions, online articles, books etc. have been my saving grace and hope since 2015. Each time I was angry or down, with loads of questions, your teachings helped to point the way forward.
Among other changes, I stopped burning joss paper during the seventh month due to fearful superstitions. Unfortunately, I lost two friends who tried hard to bring me back to the Christian path. However, understanding the Pure Land teachings and especially mindfulness of Buddha (Niànfó: 念佛) continues to be very beneficial for my well-being. It has been a long and slow process as I was not a very good student. With lapses in my practice, I am still a work in progress.
I have opted out of organ donation (for good reasons learnt), and informed my family members on what I would like them to follow during, before and after my departure. This is not what my girls are receptive to yet, and I understand. Hopefully, they will be willing to learn more soon. Your Niànfó retreats have been so very helpful in my journey too. They are really bite-sized! (Though they can be extended at home too.) I have also simplified my shrine and daily prayers, and practise Niànfó daily.
Since my first support-chanting session at your father’s wake, I have been wanting to help others more but let fear of not being familiar with other Purelanders and locations out of my comfort zone hold me back. This is what I need to overcome, with Niànfó itself. Your Pure Land teachings have helped me so much on my long journey to inner peace. I am still learning and understanding. Thanks so much, Teacher Shi’an.
Āmítuófó : Ruby (pen name)
7 September 2026
Related Testimony:
[138] Why I Attend Pureland Practice Fellowship (PPF) Sessions Regularly
https://purelanders.com/2026/09/10/138-why-i-attend-pureland-practice-fellowship-sessions-regularly
