Q&A

Should The Dying Hold The Living?

Question: Is it okay to let a dying person hold the hand of someone when they are in the final stage of dying?    

Answer: The dying gripping the living is okay; but not the other way round, as it easily stirs attachment or aversion, while causing pain due to magnified sensitivity when dying. However, if the dying grips the living very tightly, it is already sign of strong attachment. There should be urging of letting go in good time.

Q: Is it okay to switch the person held on to, if the dying was gripping too hard, or if the living person needs to go off?

A: It is okay, if…

[1] the original person held on to is there to assure, at least for a while,
[2] while encouraging the dying person to Nianfo (i.e. be mindful of ‘Amituofo’ sincerely),
[3] and doing actual Nianfo with the dying person.

If lacking [1], the dying person might feel abandoned, fearful or be more attached.
If lacking [2], the dying person will not be guided on why he should Nianfo.
If lacking [3], the dying person will not be shown how to Nianfo.

[1] offers the power of assurance.
[2] offers the power of guidance (to give rise to the Three Provisions).
[3] offers the power of merits (to share with him instantly).

Related Articles:
How To Share The Power Of Merits & Guidance
https://purelanders.com/2013/11/07/how-to-share-the-power-of-merits-guidance
Importance Of Not Touching Or Moving The Dying & Deceased Too Soon
https://purelanders.com/2015/12/30/the-second-great-essential-%e7%ac%ac%e4%ba%8c%e5%a4%a7%e8%a6%81-pure-land-passport-section-3c

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Please be mindful of your speech, Amituofo!