[113] How We Guided My Eldest Sister To Wholeheartedly Niànfó For Her Journey To Pure Land
When my eldest sister was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer in March 2023, we started to encourage her to have Faith in Amitābha Buddha (Āmítuófó) and to sincerely Niànfó (念佛: be mindful of his name). (This is to gather the Three Provisions: https://purelanders.com/2018/02/08/the-three-provisions) A tumour was found near an eye socket and nasal passage, in a danger zone near the brain. Chemotherapy started with methotrexate injection to prevent spreading.
We constantly reminded her to mindfully Niànfó, and to not be bothered by discomfort or pain during treatments. (On pain relief, see https://purelanders.com/2016/04/13/testimonial-how-nianfo-alleviated-my-suffering.) We were glad to hear that she was able to endure the pain throughout with concentration on Niànfó. She even mentioned that she has Faith in Āmítuófó, and would like to have a scroll with his picture to remind her to Niànfó.
Coincidentally, when we attended a Pureland Practice Fellowship session (https://purelanders.com/ppf), Teacher Shi’an had one such scroll to distribute: https://purelanders.com/2022/05/12/buddha-picture-placement-for-the-dying. We took this opportunity to request it for her and helped put it up in her house. We also helped her download an Āmítuófó track (at https://purelanders.com/mp3) on her phone, so that she could play it whenever wanted.
In October 2023, doctors confirmed that the treatments were successful. In January 2024, she was eventually in the clear. Regardless of the good outcome (which is still impermanent as we all still have to depart eventually), we constantly reminded her on the importance of sincere Niànfó, as going to the Buddha’s Pure Land is the ultimate bliss.
As she stayed alone and sometimes did not answer messages for days, we did not think much when she did not contact for days. On 3 May, however, as the days without contact became too many to be usual, we went to look for her with one of her sons. She was found delirious, and had been sleeping under a table for four or more days without food and drink. She was miraculously alive.
We rushed her to the hospital. Doctors announced that the cancer has relapsed and now affected the brain. She was given steroids for about 10 days and her memory improved after a few days. She was then given radiotherapy. The timely clearing of this obstacle gave her more Faith in Āmítuófó. She also entrusted us and her second son to handle her funeral in the Buddhist way, with sea burial too.
We shared with her about the majestic beauty of Āmítuófó’s Pure Land (e.g. https://purelanders.com/2022/12/07/18-reasons-why-this-world-is-not-a-pure-land), and how we can all gain great Dharma wisdom with guidance of the Buddha and Great Bodhisattvas there. We also shared about forgiving others and letting go of worldly attachments. She was calm and receptive despite knowing that she would be admitted to the hospice for palliative care.
On the second day at the hospice (11 June 2024), her condition deteriorated. We immediately covered her with the Dhāraṇī Blanket (陀罗尼被: https://purelanders.com/2023/02/25/top-ten-facts-to-know-about-the-dhara%e1%b9%87i-rebirth-blanket) for protection and blessings. We reminded and guided her to Niànfó with us. On the third day, she was wheeled to a single bedded room. At this point, we felt that closure was needed to help her let go of any remaining attachments she might have.
So, we helped her to rejoice, that she has already done much for her roles, as a sister, mother (for her sons), mother-in-law (for her daughters-in-law) and grandmother (for her grandchildren). Together as a family, everyone repented and sought her forgiveness for any past wrongs too. After doing that, we reminded her to let go of attachment to all matters, including her body, as it is time to wholeheartedly Niànfó, for Āmítuófó’s ultimate blessings, to reach his Pure Land.
Before she departed, we had requested the medical staff to allow us to use the room for up to eight hours for religious chanting after her last breath. On 16 June at 9.05 pm, she passed away. We were grateful that the staff and family members were cooperative by not touching her body and grieving before her. They were also agreeable on not having embalmment (which might disturb the consciousness with magnified pain if still within the body).
After straightening the Dhāraṇī Blanket, we followed the procedure in the Pure Land Passport book (https://purelanders.com/now), putting the blessed Sand Of Golden Bright Light (金光明沙) on the forehead, throat, heart area and palms. After which, we offered guidance (开示) and started our eight-hour support-chanting (助念) at 9.30 pm, till the next morning at 4.45 am.
Every hour, we repeated the guidance, reminding her not to be attached to the body, and to only sincerely Niànfó, till she sees Āmítuófó, to follow him to his Pure Land (念佛、见佛、跟佛). One and a half hours into the chanting, her gaping mouth closed with a smile, and her facial colour became rosy instead of pale. Family members were surprised and happy with her transformation. We continued chanting till a son and daughter-in-law took over for an hour’s break, after which we continued, until the staff came to clean and change her. The nurses told us that her body was supple (柔软), except for her left arm which was resting on the railing.
While encoffining, we recited guidance, repentance (忏悔), and the Buddha’s name. Her final expression was peaceful and blissful. We practised two sessions of BGRAAM (Bowing, Guidance, Repentance, Āmítuójīng《阿弥陀经》, Āmítuófó and Merits’ dedication: https://purelanders.com/wake) daily during the three-day wake, wishing her to be reborn in the Land Of Ultimate Bliss (极乐世界).
On the journey to the crematorium, we ‘blasted’ Āmítuófó’s name to remind her (if still present), to be mindful of his name, and to follow him to his Pure Land. To help grieving family members to focus on Niànfó too, and to drown out any possible crying, we kept playing the Buddha’s name aloud as the casket was conveyed into the furnace. In this way, we sent her off together, for her smooth journey to Āmítuófó’s Pure Land. Námó Āmítuófó (南无阿弥陀佛)!
Lilian & Siew Hiong
3 July 2024
