[108] How We Overcame Obstacles To Successfully Guide Our Old Friend To Pure Land 我们如何克服障碍，成功引导老朋友往生净土

我们如何克服障碍，成功引导老朋友往生净土
[108] How We Overcame Obstacles To Successfully Guide Our Old Friend To Pure Land

Introduction 介绍

While having lunch with our long-time good friend Y in January, we shared about coming to the Orchard Road area to attend Dharma classes weekly. She immediately asked if her Mum (Auntie X) could attend as she had started taking mild anti-depressants and is worried about death.

今年一月与一位认识多年的朋友Y聚餐，谈话中提起了每周到乌节路一带上佛学班一事。朋友听后告知自己的母亲（X阿姨）因为年事已高，开始思考生死问题，导致她患上轻度忧郁症。朋友问母亲是否可以跟我们一起上课。

As Auntie does not understand English, we asked if Y can attend on her behalf, to share what she will learn with Auntie. Her immediate reply was ‘No way!’ We then suggested to visit Auntie on the fourth day of the lunar new year, to share what we have learnt.

但我们上的佛学班是以英文讲解的。X阿姨不谙英语，于是我们建议朋友Y不如代母上课，再把学习到的佛学内容与母亲分享。她的第一反应是：“不可能！”既然如此，我们只好提议来临的年初四跟她母亲拜年才与她分享我们所学的。

On that day, Y sent a message, informing that Auntie was found unconscious in the morning, and is now in the A&E department, in coma due to massive brain bleeding. We were shocked with disbelief that impermanence struck so swiftly, before we could visit her. We immediately practised Niànfó (念佛) to dedicate merits.

不料，年初四早上收到了朋友Y的信息，告知我们X阿姨当天上午昏迷不醒，紧急入院后被诊断脑部大量出血。接到这个坏消息，我们震惊之余立刻念佛回向给X阿姨。

Day One Of Support-Chanting 助念第一天

As we have promised to share the Dharma, we feel obligated to do so, even if Auntie is unresponsive. We consulted Teacher Shi’an and drafted the first Guidance Text (开示文) (in Chinese):

X阿姨虽然不省人事，因我们已承诺与她分享佛法，于是在请教时安老师后草拟了以下开示文：

Mother of Y, Auntie X, I am H. L and I have come to motivate you. We know that you are now suffering, but please let go of everything. Together, let us be mindful of the Buddha’s name sincerely. Āmítuófó will help you to overcome this obstacle.

Y 妈妈，X 阿姨，我是 H。我和 L 来给妳打气了。我们知道妳现在很辛苦，但请妳放下一切，和我们一起诚心念佛。阿弥陀佛会帮助妳度过这个难关。

If when mindful of the Buddha, Āmítuófó comes to receive you, please do not hesitate, and just follow him. With mindfulness of Buddha within your mind, there will be peace and bliss. Follow Āmítuófó to his Pure Land Of Ultimate Bliss, where there will be no more sickness and suffering. When it is our time, we will also reach the Land Of Ultimate Bliss, to meet you there. [This is adapted from https://purelanders.com/sign.]

如果念佛的当儿，阿弥陀佛来接妳，也不要犹豫，要跟着他去。心中念佛就会安乐，跟阿弥陀佛去极乐世界就没有病苦。我们到时也会在极乐世界见面。

Before offering guidance, we sought Y’s approval on the text. She agreed on the part encouraging her Mum to Niànfó but rejected outrightly on the part about following Āmítuófó to his Pure Land. She reasoned that her Mum has always been a fighter and that it is not her time to leave this world yet!

在开示前，我们把开示文念给朋友Y听以取得她的同意。但是，她坚决反对加入“见佛跟佛往生”的字眼。她说母亲一辈子都是一位生命斗士，现在不是她离开的时候！

We explained that even with Niànfó, there is no guarantee that she will recover. If Āmítuófó appears to bring her to the Land Of Ultimate Bliss, it is the best outcome then. However, Y was still insistent on excluding the second part. Out of respect, we agreed.

我们解释即使念佛，也不能保证X阿姨能完全康复痊愈。若阿弥陀佛现身接引她到极乐世界，这也是极好的结果。尽管如此，朋友Y仍旧坚持删除“见佛跟佛”的文字。为尊重她的意愿，我们同意了。

We entered the ICU room and saw Auntie hooked to a mechanical ventilator, with a tube on her scalp draining off blood. We recited the Repentance Text (忏悔文) and practised Niànfó for 30 minutes by her bed, before dedicating merits (回向功德). At the end of the session, we realised that her systolic blood pressure had increased from the normal 115 mmHg to a high 180 mmHg.

在我们踏进加护病房时，看到了X阿姨身上的呼吸器以及一条用来排除颅内血液的插管。在开示和念诵了忏悔文后，我们在她床边念了30分钟佛号，再把功德回向给阿姨。结束时，我们很讶异地发现阿姨的血压从原本的115 mmHg飙升至180 mmHg.

Day Two Of Support-Chanting 助念第二天

We passed an old handphone to Y, preloaded with the Āmítuófó chant we use, from https://purelanders.com/mp3, advising her to keep it looping by Auntie’s bed, so that she will be reminded to recite when we were not around. When we recited the Guidance Text again, her blood pressure shot up to 180 mmHg again!

我们把一台收录了阿弥陀佛佛号的旧手机，交给了朋友Y，并建议她放在阿姨的病床边不停播放，让阿姨在没人陪伴时也能持名念佛。我们再次开示念诵忏悔文后念佛，怎知X阿姨的血压再次升到180 mmHg！

We updated Teacher and he reminded us to be extra careful in our subsequent actions, in case her family misunderstands, thinking we are putting too much pressure on Auntie to depart. He advised to offer more assuring words. Our first revision of the Guidance Text (in Chinese) is as follows, which takes Auntie’s lifelong dedication in caring for her family into consideration:

我们告知老师这样的情况后，他提醒我们接下来要特别小心行事，别让病人家属误会我们助念是给予阿姨无谓的压力，逼迫她尽快离世。他进一步建议我们添加多一些安慰的话语。修改后的开示文如下，其中包含阿姨一辈子尽心尽力照顾家人的内容：

(Auntie X, I am H. L and I have come to motivate you. We know that you are now suffering, but please let go of everything. Together, let us be mindful of the Buddha’s name sincerely. Āmítuófó will help you to overcome this obstacle.

X 阿姨，我是H。我和 L 来给妳打气了。我们知道妳现在很辛苦，但请妳放下一切，和我们一起诚心念佛。阿弥陀佛会帮助妳度过这个难关。

Because Āmítuófó has immeasurable bright light [of blessings], it cannot be obstructed. You must have faith that with mindfulness of Buddha, there will be peace and bliss. With your sincere mind mindful of Buddha, you will attain the Buddha’s power of blessings, and eliminate your obstacles. Please let go of everything. There is no need to worry about your family members. Everyone will take care of one another. You should only be mindful of Buddha’s name wholeheartedly.)

因为阿弥陀佛有无量的光明，它没有障碍。要相信心中念佛就会得安乐。诚心念佛得佛力保佑，消除障碍。一切放下，不必担心家人。大家都会互相照顾。只要一心念佛。

Day Three Of Support-Chanting 助念第三天

We noticed that the handphone was not turned on by Auntie’s bed. Although a little disappointed, we did not ask Y about it as we did not want to impose. We continued support-chanting (助念) using the revised text. This time, we were happy that her blood pressure did not shoot up and maintained a healthy level!

我们踏入加护病房时，发现那台旧手机并没有放在床边。我们虽然有些许失望，但不愿在这紧要关头追根究底。我们念诵了修改后的开示文，继续念佛。这次阿姨的血压一直保持在健康的水平，没有上升，让我们感到十分安慰。

Y updated that they have sought a second opinion from a neurologist in private practice and was told that the chances of her waking up was only 5%, and even if she does, she will lose much awareness and mobility. Y said her Mum had always been stressing not to become a burden for her children. Thus, she is now agreeable with us guiding her to follow Āmítuófó to his Pure Land, also because her family was likely to ‘let their Mum go’.

朋友Y跟进说她与家人也向另一位私人脑科专科医生咨询了母亲的病情。医生告知他们一家阿姨苏醒的机率只有5%。即使她苏醒过来，神识会不清，行动也无法自如。朋友说母亲经常强调她老来不愿成为子女的负担。朋友这时才同意我们在开示文中加入“念佛见佛跟佛”的文字，因为她与家人已经在考虑让母亲“安然”离世。

We updated Teacher and were immediately reminded that the intubation hooked on to is considered life support, and that switching it off when oxygen is needed is similar to ‘murder’ in effect. We then forwarded articles on the subject to Y.

我们通知老师事况的最新发展。老师提醒我们所插的（呼吸）管即是维系生命的辅助系统，关掉呼吸器就等于剥夺了阿姨的呼吸，相当于“谋杀”。我们赶紧把相关的文章发给了朋友Y。

Day Four Of Support-Chanting 助念第四天

Y updated that she and her family have begun telling her Mum to let go of all worldly attachments, and to follow Āmítuófó to his Pure Land when she sees him. We were extremely happy to see the preloaded handphone playing in the ICU room continuously. The family informed that Auntie seemed much calmer after listening to the chant. With guidance from Teacher, we did a second revision of the Guidance Text (in Chinese):

朋友Y告知他们一家已经开始劝服X阿姨放下万缘，念佛见佛跟佛往生西方极乐世界。我们也很高兴看到我们的旧手机已经放置在加护病房里，正在不间断地播放着佛号。X阿姨的家人也告诉我们，阿姨在听佛号后似乎较为平静了。在老师指点下，我们再一次修改了开示文：

(Auntie, in this life, you have already done much for your family members. Uncle [i.e. her husband], Y, Z, and your two sons-in-law all deeply feel your love. Thus, you should have no more regrets. Please let go of all your worries, to wholeheartedly be mindful of the Buddha. When seeing Āmítuófó, do not hesitate to follow Āmítuófó to his Pure Land. When you have reached the Land Of Ultimate Bliss, you will be able to learn from Āmítuófó, to become a Bodhisattva and Buddha, to continue blessing your family members. We will also reunite with you in the Land Of Ultimate Bliss later. Please do not worry about your family members, because all will be well. You only have to be mindful of the Buddha’s name wholeheartedly.)

阿姨，在妳这一生，已经为家人付出了很多。叔叔, Y, Z, 还有妳的两个女婿都深深感受到妳的爱。所以，妳此生已没有遗憾了。请妳放下所有的担心，一心念佛，看到阿弥陀佛时，不要犹豫，跟着阿弥陀佛到他的净土。到了极乐世界，妳就可以跟阿弥陀佛学习，作菩萨成佛，继续保佑家人。以后，我们也会在极乐世界与妳重逢。记得不要担心家人，因为大家都安好，只要一心念佛就可以了。

We noticed Auntie’s upper body jerked a few times when she heard the first part of the Guidance Text, which meant that she was responding, while her blood pressure maintained at a healthy level. After another round of 30-minute Niànfó, we gently reminded Auntie’s husband, Y and her younger sister to continue with Niànfó, and dedicated the merits to Auntie.

我们注意到阿姨在听了前一段的开示文后，上半身抽动了几下，这证明她是听得到我们说话的。她的血压也依旧保持在健康的水平。在完成另一轮30分钟念佛后，我们不忘提醒阿姨的丈夫、朋友Y和她妹妹要继续念佛，把功德回向给阿姨。

Day Five Of Support-Chanting 助念第五天

Visiting in the afternoon, we noticed that Auntie’s complexion has become much healthier looking than before. Her tongue, which was deep purple on the first day now looked normal. We repeated the Guidance Text and encouraged her to continue to Niànfó sincerely.

我们午后来到了加护病房，见到了阿姨的面色相比之前好多了。她原本深紫色的舌头也变得健康许多。我们重复读诵了开示文念佛后，继续鼓励阿姨一定要真诚持名念佛。

At the resting area outside the ICU, Y updated that her family has more or less decided to ask the doctor to turn off all life-supporting devices tomorrow. Upon hearing this, we began to worry that Auntie might not have ample time to Niànfó, to connect to and follow Āmítuófó to his Pure Land.

在加护病房外，朋友Y通知我们她们一家应该会在第二天关掉所有维系生命的医疗器材。除了担心阿姨无法及时念佛，感应阿弥陀佛往生西方极乐世界外，我们也感到无能为力。

That night, Auntie’s family members had a meeting at home and confirmed their plan. Y and her younger sister then returned to the hospital to keep their Mum company for the night.

当晚，阿姨一家在家里开了家庭会议正式确定了第二天的安排。过后，朋友Y与家人回到医院陪伴母亲。

At about 1 am, Auntie’s heartbeat slowed down gradually, before ending at 1.49 am. We heard of her passing only in the morning, some hours later. We were glad that Auntie managed to depart smoothly before life support was turned off. As we have learnt about the possible ill effects of embalmment, we immediately shared articles on it with Y.

第二天凌晨1点多X阿姨的心跳逐渐放慢，并在1点49分完全停止。隔天接获消息后，我们为X阿姨能在家人关掉维系生命医疗器材前成功往生而感到欣慰。我们也马上把避免遗体防腐处理的相关文章发给了朋友Y。

Wake 吊唁处

We felt relieved when we saw Auntie’s expression in the open coffin. Although with embalmment done, she looked as if she was asleep. Her face looked soft, without any expression of agony. The family and us all believe that she has reached Pure Land. Āmítuófó!

我们在吊唁处看到了阿姨的遗容后倍感安心。阿姨的遗体虽然经过防腐处理，但面相如生，犹如安睡了的样子。她面部表情轻松，完全没有丝毫痛苦表情。她的家人和我们都深信阿姨已经往生西方极乐世界了。阿弥陀佛！

Some Takeaway Lessons 学习重点

[1] Impermanence With Sudden Karmic Effects: We were supposed to meet Auntie on the day she had stroke. Impermanence in life can indeed be unpredictable, with sudden ripening of karma. We missed the chance of sharing the Dharma when she was healthy, but on hindsight, she might have been less receptive (with less sense of urgency) if she was doing better.

[1] 无常与业力感召：我们本应在X阿姨中风当天见面，但人生之无常，业力之感召，无法预料。我们错失了在阿姨体健时与她分享佛法。惋惜之余，我们也安慰自己说她若健康，也未必能如此愿意接受佛法。

[2] Deep Respect: We must always remind ourselves to maintain deep respect for the dying (or deceased) and the family members concerned. The wake and funeral are their ‘show’ with ‘ceremonies’ to conduct, not ours. We are there simply to help the dying or deceased build trust in Āmítuófó, and to guide with sincere reciting of his name for birth in his Pure Land. We must never impose or bulldoze through with our views, even if they are right. If this is done, without adapting when needed, there will be unhappiness and even conflict, making the goal of guiding towards Pure Land impossible.

[2] 保持高度尊重态度：我们必须无时无刻提醒自己要对即将离世或死者及家人，保持高度的尊重。这是他们的家事，我们无从干涉。我们到场只是尽力协助即将离世或死者对阿弥陀佛尽快建立信心，同时劝导他们真诚念佛往生西方。即使想法和做法是正确的，我们千万不可坚持己见或把做法想法强加于他们身上。若无法谨慎及善巧处理，人与人之间就容易产生不快或摩擦，弄巧反拙反而无法指引死者往生极乐世界。

[3] Skilful Means: We really must open our ears and hearts to listen to the needs of the family, to offer guidance that they are comfortable with. For example, the initial Guidance Text offered had to omit the part urging letting go of worldly attachments to reach Pure Land. We only kept to guidance along the line of, ‘只要一心念佛，就会有大利益。念佛的功德，我们都会回向给妳和家人.’ (You only have to be mindful of the Buddha’s wholeheartedly for there to be great benefits. With the meritorious virtues from mindfulness of Buddha, we will dedicate them to you and your family.) We tried our best not to give the wrong impression that reciting Āmítuófó is to hasten the sick towards death.

[3] 善巧方便：我们必须了解病人家属的意愿和所需，这样才能迎合他们并且给予最佳的劝导。比如：第一版开示文就删除了放下万缘，往生西方的文字。我们用“只要一心念佛，就会有大利益。念佛的功德，我们都会回向给妳和家人。”

[4] Improvisation: Teacher has lots of information online, with articles explaining concepts and methods for general readers. Thus, when we cannot use the Guidance Text of the teachings ‘wholesale’, we will have to do our best to improvise by rephrasing, without losing the essential intentions and meanings. For example, by saying ‘我(们)来给妳打气’ ([We] have come to motivate you), instead of saying ‘我们来给妳助念’ (We have come to offer support-chanting’).

[4] 按情况做出调整：老师网页的资料齐全且适合一般大众阅读和参考。但如果照搬全收，就会显得生硬或不符合情况或当事人所需。我们应该在不修改原意的基础上，适当地做出调整。比如：我们用了“给妳打气”，而非 “给妳助念”。

[5] Persuasion: Both daughters and sons-in-law simply did not believe in any religion. When we suggested chanting Āmítuófó for Auntie to Y, she initially said they are not the religious type. L then suggested that it is not necessary to chant for 30 minutes or more, as she can break up recitation of Āmítuófó’s name, to be ten times each, and recite as many cycles as possible. The phone was put to great use, playing Āmítuófó’s name day and night. On our last visit and during the wake, the younger daughter also said that she recited Āmítuófó’s name by her Mum’s bed, and that it brought her calmness.

[5] 劝说：阿姨的两个女儿和女婿都是无宗教信仰者。在我们向朋友Y的妹妹提议为母亲念阿弥陀佛时，她起初说他们没有宗教信仰，所以感觉不太舒服。L就建议她不必一次念30分钟佛号，可考虑一次念10声佛号即可，重复越多次越好。含佛号的旧手机日夜不断地播放佛号，对阿姨帮助很大。最后一天探望阿姨时，甚至到了吊唁处，朋友Y的妹妹告知我们她在母亲的病床边念佛，可感受到母亲的平静。

[6] Obstacles: Our handphone’s Āmítuófó track stopped for no clear reason during our very first 30-minute chanting session. We immediately replayed it and concentrated on recitation again. The track went out of tune during our fourth visit. We stopped, looked at each other briefly but got back in rhythm quickly. Please be mentally prepared in case there are such obstacles. We just need to keep our composure to continue with practice, and all will be fine. Even if there is no guiding track, we should still recite by ourselves.

[6] 障碍：在助念的第一天，我们自己手机的佛号无故停播了。我们即刻重启佛号，再次专注念佛。助念第四天，佛号突然间变调。我们被干扰片刻后，很快地重新进入念佛状态。提醒大家在遇到这样的障碍时，要安住佛号往下念。即使没有播放佛号，我们也可以自己念佛。

[7] Self-Reminders And Encouragement: We must always remind ourselves that we are there to offer patients and their family members a very precious gift – with guidance and support-chanting for birth in the Land Of Ultimate Bliss. We should thus be confident in whatever we say, do and recite. H was hesitant after the first day and said to Y, ‘We are not sure if we have helped your Mum.’ L immediately asserted that of course they did, and that Auntie will definitely receive the merits and blessings. At the wake, H asked L if they should still offer another round of guidance and support-chanting as planned, as the non-religious wake had no Buddha statues or pictures, not even offerings. L affirmed that they should still do so, as Auntie will still benefit accordingly.

[7] 时时提醒和自我鼓励：我们必须经常提醒自己我们是来为病人和家属送上最珍贵的一份礼物的 – 开示助念，为引导见佛跟佛往生西方。我们的言行举止一定要有信心。第一天助念后H心不感踏实，就对朋友Y说“我们这样念佛不知是否帮到你母亲……” L紧接着说念佛当然能帮助到X阿姨，她一定会收到我们回向的功德和祝福的。在吊唁处，H在看到如此简约的灵堂便问L是否还需要念佛。L斩钉截铁地说当然还是要念佛，因为阿姨必定会受益。

[8] Sincerity In Niànfó: L discovered that when he started chanting by the deathbed, there were minimal stray thoughts. In his mind, there were only the Buddha’s name and Auntie’s bedridden expression (although mindfulness of Buddha will do). 死到临头了，才会真诚地念佛！(When approaching death, then is there more truly sincere mindfulness of Buddha!) As such, we should remember our mortality to motivate ourselves to be more sincerely mindful of Buddha in everyday life.

[8] 真诚念佛：L发现自己在即将逝世的阿姨床边念佛，心里极少杂念和妄想。他脑子里只有佛号和阿姨卧床的表情（念念阿弥陀佛即可）。死到临头了，才会真诚地念佛! 因此，我们必须时时提醒自己生命有限，每日真诚念佛才是最为实在。

Conclusion 结语

We could see and feel how helpless the family members were at the hospital. We strongly believe that recitation of Āmítuófó’s name helped to calm Auntie, as could be seen from her blood pressure. After looking at her gentle and peaceful final expression, we are certain that she has departed with Āmítuófó to reach his Pure Land!

我们在医院里看到并感受到了病人家属的无助。但从阿姨血压的变化来看，我们相信我们的助念大大地安抚了她。她安详的遗容，也让我们确信阿姨已经往生西方极乐世界了！

阿弥陀佛! Āmítuófó!
L&H
6 March 2024